The day was coming to an end. Jessica was being discharged from the hospital that night because her two days were up. They didnt want to go all the way back to Alpine leaving their little miracle in provo behind just in case something happened. They had family living about 4 miles away from the hospital, but that just seemed too far. so they talked with staff and their was a house across the street that housed parents of NICU babies. So that was the plan, to go there for a few days and be with Grayson as long as possible. They were in the NICU when Grayson started having a harder time than what was expected. They were clearing out his intubator when the nurse saw blood come out of the tube. Dr. Garday was their in a second and ordered some medications and more tests. Jessica looked at him and knew that what she had seen was not good, anything coming out of a lung like that was no good at all. The doctor was quick and he managed to somewhat stabalize Grayson. He said that if Jessica was to be discharged this would be the best time to do so.
Richard (Brandons dad) stayed with Graysonn while Jessica, Brandon, Patti and Diana flew down stairs to the mother baby area where Jessica was staying, they threw everything into bags and onto wheelchairs, they had everything out of the room in record time and Jessica declined everything that nurses usually do in order to get back up to Grayson. By the time they got back up stairs, Graysons Uncles Jordan and Camron and Aunt Faith were waiting outside of the NICU in the waiting room, they had come to visit Grayson because he was now two days old. Unfortunatly Faith and Jordan were not able to go see Grayson because of their ages, but Cameron was allowed to come in, their was a limit of 3 people per baby, so they had decided that Jessica would take in Cameron and Richard would come out to have Brandon come in.
As Jessica went to check in at the nurses station, she knew something was wrong, because normally the nurses required her wrist band ID, who she was and her to sign the sign in sheet. This time however, the nurse just told her to run in, cameron should wait and that Brandon was right behind her. The over whelming spirit of calmness and urgency hit Jessica all in one. She knew it was going to happen, but she prayed that it wouldn't.
As Jessica walked into the little corner room that was now Graysons, she saw hundreds of things all at once. Doctors and Nurses serrounded Graysons bed. Their isn't much to remember, but Jessica relays this:
I remember standing at the foot of my little boys bed. Hearing the sirens and beepers going off, seeing the blood come out of his breathing tubes. And then hearing Dr. Gardays voice, saying " get mom a chair." automatically I thought, "oh, my mom is here?" then to sacredly relize in a whisper, "wait, I'm mom!" I then saw Dr. Gardays face, sitting me into a chair that had magically apeared by some amazing nurses on the side lines. Dr. Garday saying, " you have to hold your son, you have to hold your baby before he passes away." Brandon then came by my side, he had been there the entire time. This was it, a few nurses picked him up and put our son into my hands.
We sat their for what seemed like an eternity. Our little family was finally a family. We were able to hold our son! He was here, so quick, so soon, and to be told he was leaving us to go home, well, words can not describe. Their was definatly weeping, and some wailing, mainly from me, but I'm not going to lie, Brandon did too. Soon though, as we knew, the time came to a close. Graysons doctor was their, and asked to listen to Graysons heart. I dont know exactly what he did, but I remember him taping in the air, like a chorister to a choir. He was doing this to show that his heart was slowing down. And slowly the Respritory therapist was turning off the oxygen. Then off came the stethascope from the doctor, and both he and the therapist were taking out graysons tubes. I remember Graysons face at that point. He looked so peaceful. He even had a smile on his face, and even though they said it was impossible for Grayson to breath on his own so early, I saw him take his last breath. And with that last breath comfort came. Grayson wasn't in pain anymore. Of course we cried. We are his parents. Loosing a child shouldn't happen. But unfortunatly things happen and the lord is with us through every step of the way.
Brandon and Jessica sat in the NICU, with the curtains closed and lights dimmed, holding their son for who knows how long. They were offered a private room, probably because of the crying and they gladly took it. Brandon and Jessica had to go break the news to the family while the nurses took Grayson and did some paper work. By then Jessica's Grandpa Pete and Aunt Dawna were there too. They were all in the NICU waiting room when Jessica and Brandon walked in. Almost one of the worst and hardest things doing was this. To have to tell a family member that their loved one has died. To see the faces of Brandons siblings break, to see the realization of death in a family, to have a solemn spirit about the room, that was very hard. Funny enough, it turned into a bearing of testimonies for Brandon and Jessica. They both said it would be okay and that they were sealed for eternity as a family and that they would all see Grayson again. They all hugged, they all cried, they were all wounded by this tragic event.
A nurse then came and said that Brandon and Jessica would have another few minutes with Grayson alone but for the family to wait so that they can see him too. They went into a room with a bed and other provisions to get them by. It was a room to dress Grayson, to get casts of his hands and feet and to take a few pictures with him in Brandon and Jessicas hands. The spirit was so strong, they felt Grayson with them, they felt his support for them and they felt that he was there every step of the way. Every family member came in a few at a time. First it was Graysons Great Grandpa Pete and Great Aunt Dawna, they were amazed at how small and delicate he was. Pete gave comforting words of the Plan of Salvation and how They were an eternal family. Then Diana came in, Graysons Grandma, they all cried, their was not much that could be said, a child had died. and Then Brandons family came in, Richard, Patti, Camron, Jordan and Faith. (Brooke and Brad were out of town that night and couldnt make it until the next day.) Everyone had a chance to hold him, everyone had the chance to cry. They took pictures, not the best obviously, but it was a memory. Soon it was time to go, it was the hardest thing to leave Grayson behind, to be sent to the University of Utah to have an autopsy. Brandon and Jessica were given the option to autopsy for science purposes, they were old that it could further science in premature babies. They knew it was the right decision to further knowledge, and that they would get Grayson back in a few days for funeral arrangments. So soon, they were home, back in Alpine, the home unchanged and thrashed from when paramedics first picked up Jessica. But lives forever changed.
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